1) Terry Clauson
It’s not that they have a Velociraptor. Or that they named him Terry Clauson. Or that they brought him to SHOT, or even took the time to make a website dedicated to the worlds first tactical dinosaur:
With a very high size to carnage ratio it poses a green solution to warfare. How does one stop a cold, calculating raptor running around wreaking utter havoc on the enemies of freedom? The Tactical Dino is equipped with the world’s most advanced load carriage solution. The ultralight, raptor-tough gear carries the necessary navigation and telemetric equipment in a low bulk, fluid setup that does not hinder slashing, gnawing, and mauling.
It is how I believe in my mind that this happened: The owner of the company, we will call him Ted, was sitting around one weekend afternoon in his underwear eating cinnamon toast crunch surfing ebay when he came across a Jurassic-sized velociraptor statue and said, “I fucking need that.” Then one afternoon a few weeks later he assembled the statue in the office at BFG headquarters where a marketing guy saw it and said, “Ted. That is brilliant. He needs a website.” And Ted was all, “Shit yeah. Get it done.”
2) Chap Stick
I was sitting here at my desk trying to concentrate on being awesome but my lips hurt and it was starting to hinder the flow so I opened my desk drawer and there it was, having arrived with my PLATEminus armor carrier. Obviously, it worked.
Good looking out, BFG. Can’t have operators kicking it in the GWOT (or civilians kicking it at their desks) with chapped lips. No, sir.